Bash's Home Study Completed

Yesterday, I endured the torture of Bash's adoption home study - YEA, IT's OVER!!!! The house looked good. I had sent the big dogs off to the Pet Hotel for the night so that we could get the house clean. Although,I did miss them terribly. Of course during the home study visit Bash chimed in with a very important question, "How come our kitchen looks so clean?" I almost died! Out of the mouths of babes. Hopefully, it will all be done soon. The Oregon social worker told me his next court date is 11/22, but they can request a sooner hearing if needed. Although, if I do end up with my niece I would love to time it just right so that Bash's adoption is finalized at the time that my niece is coming down. That way I can take off 12 weeks FMLA for the adoption and use that time to bond with my niece and work on integrating her into my family. Doesn't that sound nice?

As for the VN adoption - I am just not sure what to do. My niece coming down to Vegas is looking more and more likely. Tomorrow, I am going to call the social worker at LNI and explain to him what is happening and ask for advice. I do think I want to proceed even in the event of getting my niece. But how long will they hold my app? This is one of many questions I have regarding the situation.

Other things going on:

Bash received a new bike and has been having fun riding it - I will get new pictures this weekend.

The garage door totally broke and will need to be replaced.

The construction continues on in the office - I can not wait until it is over!

I have discovered that I have a slow, burning hatred for my Home Owner's Association.

More later - hopefully pictures.

I Know I Know - Long Time No Post

I know it has been awhile but I have been very very busy and maybe a bit down. So let me explain:

Since I last posted I have had my phone interview for Midwifery school. It went very well, but I was a little sad that I couldn't talk my way into a sooner class starting. I did try - but it looks like March of 08. I will know if I am accepted around the 1st of December. It went very well - I have no doubt that I will be accepted.

My sister has continued to act erratic. She did check herself into the hospital to get some help, finally. But the behavior hasn't really changed. It really frustrates me that she went into get help and she was discharged with a script for some new meds that cost 400.00/month. How the hell is she going to pay for that? So, really she might as well have been discharged with nothing because she won't be able to afford to buy the meds to get her better. For me, this means I am probably going to eventually get my niece. Sept. 7th is the next court date. If she doesn't show up the social worker told me that my niece will become a ward of the state. OMG - Here we go again!!!! It looks like I won't be surrendering my foster care license anytime soon.

This weekend I put in bamboo floors, painted my room an "Adobe Straw" color, and also got my new bed in place. Here is the link to what the bed looks like:
http://www.teak-collection.com/pages/reclaimed_teak_product-detail.asp?SP_ID=&SKU=BD701
The bed is awesome! It was shipped from Bali - it is made from 50-200 year old reconditioned teak. I guess from old houses in Bali. It is really awesome and I love that no trees had to be used in order for me to enjoy this awesome bed. I am going to order the matching end tables and a shelf as well.

This Tuesday is my home study home visit for Bash - can't wait to get that all wrapped up!

Alright folks - I have to haul a&* to get ready for work - 8 am meeting - yuk!!!
Write more later!

Exhausting Day

Laying here on my bed, surrounded by big dogs, and thinking about the day. It was exhausting with not so many little bright spots. Here is how the day went:

1. Woke up late and missed yoga

2. Bash very grouchy and difficult to deal with

3. Phone call from office that the office was a mess, computers not hooked up (and no one able to figure out how to hook them up), construction clean up not done as scheduled.

4. Felt like a babysitter regarding staff issues - why does it feel like kindergarten at work? Are we all not professional adults?

5. Unable to get any of the tons of paperwork off my desk due to multiple interruptions and re-modeling scheduling issues.

6. Cleaned out car

7. Picked up large dog poop

8. Ants in dog food

9. Fixed kids toilet

10. Kitchen still a mess

Here are the few bright spots:

1. Lost 3.5 lbs

2. Spent some time doing a little patient education

3. Went shopping and bought a few new things

4. Having dinner and chatting with Bash

5. Speaking with Dante on the phone and listening to how excited he is about registering for school

6. Lying on my bed with my dogs, house is quiet, and watching Big Love.

On The Other Side Of The Fence

How many frantic, frustrated family members have I said, "I'm sorry - we are not going to be able to hold (insert name)because he/she does not impose a threat to others or to themselves." The family members go on to say something like, "Well, what are we going to do? (insert name) needs help! We need help!" My answer,"Doctor (insert name) has prescribed (insert med) and here is the number to set up an outpatient appointment. Please feel free to come back in if you feel that things are getting worse and (insert name) is threatening themselves or someone else.

That conversation has been repeated so many times by myself and others in my profession. And now I find myself as one of those frantic and frustrated family members. What is the next step? Doing nothing does not seem right. Do we fly up and bang on her door until she answers or the cops come and tell us to move along? How will she be able to make the appropriate decisions enough to save herself and her family?

Did Ya Notice?

For those of you who scour over my blog religiously, you probably noticed a couple of new Tickers (I really think I might have a Ticker addiction). The 1st one, you may have noticed is a ticker related to how much money I have invested/saved towards the VN adoption. The final amount needed is actually a little higher than I am expecting to spend, but it does include travel. AND NOW FOR THE PLUG: Anyone who would like to help me bring home sweet little baby Jane - There is a spot to apply for credit cards, order magazines, or make a paypal donation - Just thought I would point it out.

The 2nd Ticker is, you guessed it, weight loss. I stepped on the scale this weekend and thought I was having a heart attack. I have decided that I can not go on any longer with my current lifestyle. Actually, my main goal is not really weight loss but just to be healthy. I am tired of walking up a couple flights of stairs and being winded, feeling like my world is too stressed, and I am tired of being tired. So, I have embarked on a healthier lifestyle with the weight loss being one of the positive outcomes. I know I know - those who know and love me will say, "another diet?" My answer, No - not another diet. I am choosing to change my bad habits to more positive ones.

I know everyone is saying, "but Timmie, how are you possibly going to change those bad habits?" Well, there are a few things I have vowed to do and I have enlisted my friend Gianni to also change her negative habits. Here is how I am starting:

1. Consume more protein and less starch "bad carbs"

2. Eat more veggies

3. Try not to take work so seriously (leaving the office at the office)

4. Get back into Yoga (I love yoga and the show "Breathe" on the oxygen channel is awesome)

5. Walk my dogs (really good workout walking 2 Great Danes)

6. Drink more water

I have also re-organized my entire kitchen. I cleaned out all of the cupboards and got rid of any "bad" food. Bought new dishes, silverware, and pots and pans (red).

I think the other thing that is helping me set some definite goals related to my lifestyle change is my frame of mind regarding my work. I am actually relieved that I did not get the promotion I had applied for. Sure the extra money would have been nice, but it is not the right path for me. It really gave me some time to be really honest with myself regarding what it is that makes me happy as it relates to my career. Moving up the management ladder would lead to more money and the titles are enticing, but moving up that ladder almost feels like a betrayal to my profession. I am a very honest (sometimes brutally), straight forward, and compassionate kind of person - but what I have seen in Nursing Management is far from truthful and straight forward, or compassionate. That is just not me. Applying to midwifery school solidified it for me - that is where I need to be! It feels right.

One more thing before I sign out for the night - Thank You to all of you who have left comments. I really enjoy reading them.

Nancy Grace

I just love Nancy Grace - don't you? She is so drama! I just get a kick out of her. I started watching her during the Scott Peterson trial. Tonight she is talking about a women who left her 2 small children in her car while she worked because she could not find a sitter. The children died from heat exhaustion. What a horrible death for such sweet babies. After 8 hours into her shift she states she has to leave work because she is having babysitter problems. She finds her children dead - she takes them home bathes them, redresses them, places them in trash bags, and puts them under the sink with the trash. I just can not believe it! She has a history of mental illness and had her children removed by family services more than once. The system has failed these children. I just don't get it - hard to comprehend. I have been a working single parent for a really long time and never once would I have ever considered leaving my children in the car while I worked - sitter problems or not. There are so many babies out there that need good homes but the government makes it so difficult on the adopting/fostering parents willing to take in these kids. I know because I am personally living it - I know they have to make you run the gauntlet to make sure you are fit enough to raise children. But it is just so frustrating to have to listen to these stories.

Just More Of The Same

Not so much has been going on around here. My sinusitis, I think, is finally over. Today I went the whole day without a sinus headache - Yeah!!!!!

The weather has been weird here but I love it! Thunderstorms in the desert are awesome. Today the sky opened up and poured for just a short time. I was walking from my office to my car and got totally drenched!!

I spoke with my mom this afternoon - No new news on my sister. I did speak with the case worker on Monday - she said that the baby is doing great! That is nice to hear. I did tell her that I really wanted to come get her but she said it was not possible. I know the drill - I have been through it with Bash. I did have her make a note in the file that if for some really bad reason they would have to find permanent placement - I would fill out all the paperwork for another ICPC transfer. She seemed happy to hear about that. I know that if that is the route it goes it will be a couple of years before it progresses that far. It took me 8 mos to get Bash here and that was after they decided that he would not be able to go back with his mother.

We had play therapy today - it was very productive. We played with a playhouse and a bunch of little people who all look very different from one another. The therapist and myself expressed to Bash through the dolls that family's can be very different and that people in a family can look very different from each other. We even got to start to talk about adoption a little bit - it was very good.

On the VN adoption front - well I have not filled out the rest of the app that my agency sent. I guess I have been a little shocked about the events that have unfolded with my sister. But I have decided to go ahead and fill it out and send it in - I am going to go ahead and move forward and if my niece ends up here - what can I say? "The more the merrier"

I did hear that the bed I ordered should be set to clear customs next week. That was exciting but I didn't even think it had been shipped yet. For those of you wondering - I bought a teak platform bed from Bali. It is made from reconditioned teak from houses that are approximately 50-200yrs old. It is just a simple platform bed but it was exactly what I was looking for and I love the fact that it is made from reconditioned wood - no killing trees for me!

OK, I just have one more thing to say - Holly Hunter. Lol - is everyone saying "what?" Well in another blog I follow it said to put Holly Hunter somewhere in your blog and it will increase hits to your blog. Let's see if it works!