I'm "Just" A Nurse

Bash woke up this morning with the whole right side of his face swollen. The lac on his forehead was swollen and red. Damn - I knew it did not look right. I asked several doctor's including his ped. All of them said it looked fine and it was healing. Damn - I knew it did not look right. But I am "just" a nurse. What do I know? I should have trusted myself. I have right on assessment skills. Better then quite a few of the docs I have worked with over the years. I should have just insisted that someone take me seriously. So, we were back at the urgent care again. They had to open the wound, drain the pus, and place a little bit of packing to keep the wound open. He is now on keflex. I feel really bad - I should have trusted me. Now, he is looking at a scar that may need plastics to fix. He has such a cute little face. It makes me very sad.

I Don't Feel Like I have A Choice

I had a very disturbing meeting this afternoon. My boss, the new manager, the other supervisor, and myself - all sitting at a table. My boss and the new manager (I like to call her Cruella) on one side of the table - Kel and I on the other side of the table. The stand off begins. The meeting starts with the boss stating , "I feel like there is some tension between the management staff." Wow, you think? And it goes down hill from there. Cruella acting Innocent and unable to comprehend why there is tension. Cruella not taking any responsibility in the fact that the communication is broken and the team work is non-existent. The boss wants us to lay it all out on the table - and so we did. It was ugly, tears were shed, horns were locked. Halfway through the "meeting" we were told that we would now be reporting to Cruella. I just started laughing! Cruella asked, "Why are you laughing? Why do you think this is funny?" I said, "Actually, it is quite sad but I just don't know what else to do."

So, after the meeting Kel and I decided that we would both have to give our notice. This makes me sad and angry. As I have said before - I like my clinic, I love my employees, and my little office is very cozy. But I just don't feel like I have a choice. I spend to much time at work to have it be so negative. I don't trust Cruella - I feel like she has her own personal agenda. And if my boss was smart he would be very careful.

On a more positive note - I had a great interview yesterday. It was for the Clinical Supervisor for the L/D unit of a brand new hospital. The manager is a no nonsense, straight talking, tell it like it is L/D nurse. She gets down in the trenches when needed with her crew (I like that - that is how I operate also). I would be part of opening a brand new unit - and that is exciting. By the end of the interview she stated that she really liked me and she would love to have me as part of her team - I think I got the job. I have not heard from HR yet regarding an offer. I know it will be less then I am making now - but money isn't everything. It will also get me back in on the unit and in L/D which will help once I start school. Kel also interviewed for a position on the same unit - maybe we will be able to work there together.

So when will we deliver the news? Next week - I think. I want to wait and hear from HR 1st. I will give plenty of notice. Try and get my clinic ready for my departure. I sure am going to miss everyone. ) :

Yes, I Am Still Alive and Well

I know - all of my faithful readers have been wondering here I have been. I have been here trudging along day by day. I think I last left you with Bash's home study being completed. Not much has happened since then. Let's see -

- Still waiting for whatever the next stage is related to Bash's adoption. I do not have any new pictures of Bash - I am working on picking out a new digital camera. So new pictures should be happening soon.

- I have done nothing in regards to the VN adoption. I still want to continue but I have been dragging my feet waiting to see what might happen with my niece. I think I will go ahead and send in the rest of the application. It may be another year before I find out about my niece.

- I am actively seeking a new job. I am having a really difficult time dealing with my boss and the manager that he has hired. How do you hire someone who has not been in a clinical situation in 12 yrs to run a clinic? It is just not good and I am miserable. My biggest reason for staying is my employees and my clinic. I like everyone there and all of my Providers. I am a passionate person with regards to my career and I just don't feel that same passion or even a small splinter of that passion from the others that are in the position to make very important decisions for my department. So, I started filling out apps and sending out my resume. I got a very nice offer from someone very close that I could go down to part time in preparation for school starting and I would not have to worry about bills. Hmmm... could I go back to punching a clock and laboring patients again? I do miss it and 2 days a week would be so very nice. On another note, I have applied for a manager's position at a very busy hospital for a very busy L/D unit. So, that is another possibility - What will I do? Who knows - it is all still up in the air.

- I will be leaving for the Bay area at the end of the month. I can not wait - an adult weekend for me !!! Yea!!!

- We will be going to Disneyland the 2nd weekend in October! Yea!!! It will be so fun. I have not been in about 12 yrs. Can't wait.

- I did get to take a very fun little road trip this weekend to Goldfield, Nevada. I know, most people are probably wondering "Why Goldfield?" Well, a very scary hotel is in Goldfield. It has been featured on several ghost hunting shows. We went to go peer in the windows - creepy. The little town has about 400 people and tons of ruins from the gold rush days. Very cool little place. The graveyard was also cool. I will have some pics from there up soon. The next day we went up to Mt Charleston to have lunch. It was a very nice drive. All in all it was a good relaxing weekend!
More Later
T