Chaos and Insanity

It's Been A Long Long Time

2009-08-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

I know it seems like a lifetime ago since the last time I posted anything on this blog. I think about it from time to time but time just seems to get away from me. There are some pretty big changes on the horizon.

I am relocating to Portland in less than a week. It's so weird! But the only way I have any hope of getting little Vivien out of foster care is to relocate. So, this Friday Bash, Skylar, and myself will be driving the little Mini 1200 miles to Portland. Next Monday I will be starting a new job. I am back on night shift in Labor and Delivery. The dogs and my partner will be staying in Las Vegas for the time being. Skylar is only coming to Portland to help me get settled. My hope is that both she and Dante will eventually relocate to Portland.

School is going. I am now in the Graduate part of the program. I have 1 1/2 years till I am finished. I can not wait!!!

I know a lot of you were following my blog because I was looking at adopting internationally. I had found little Claire in Uganda who was HIV positive and needed a home. I had sent in the application to AFAA and had to put things on hold due to little Vivie's circumstances. I found out about 3 or 4 months ago that little Claire had passed away. I have been very sad regarding her passing. She never knew that a family from the other side of the world looked at her beautiful picture everyday. My hopes had been to finsh her adoption as soon as I knew Vivie was settled. I still have her picture with her beautiful smile on my fridge.

I am sure many of you are asking why I am relocating to Portland as opposed to having Viv transferred to Nevada. That is the process that took place with Bash. The state of Nevada has denied my application twice to have Vivien transferred to Nevada to be with her family. I even hired an attorney, which was a complete waste of $2500.00.

Upset and Confused

2008-11-17T19:15:00.000-08:00

I received a phone call today from my social worker. If you weren't aware, I am looking at trying to get my niece out of foster care. She is located in another state which makes life terribly difficult. I went through the same process with Bash and now I find myself there again. I was told that my application was denied. DENIED?!?!?!?!?!? I can not believe it. The reasons were ridiculous. So, now what? What if my niece gets put up for adoption? Will she not be able to stay with her family? I am so angry! She is my own flesh and blood! The foster system is not about what is best for the child. Bash is doing so good here with me. He has done a complete turn around. It has been a long hard road but it has also been a good one.

I will reapply and I will win - even if I have to hire an attorney!

I will have to say that V's foster mom and I have had a few really great conversations. I have no doubt that baby V is being loved and spoiled. It is good to know she is safe and with a wonderful family.

On another note, I spoke with Cheryl this morning regarding Claire. They are still trying to get a foster home lined up for her. I have been worried for that little girl. I have filled out the adoption application and am ready to go forward with getting her here safe and sound. I am still looking to raise money for her living expenses as soon as they secure a foster home for her. I will be setting up a Cafe Press Shop where the proceeds will go to help Baby Claire.

Happy Halloween - All Hallows Eve-Samhain

2008-10-31T07:16:00.000-07:00

Halloween is one of my very favorite holidays. I just love everything about it - including the commercialism. I wanted to share with my readers a little Halloween history.

- Halloween may also be known as Samhain, All Hallows, All Hallows Eve, or Hallow E' en. (I am sure there are other names, but these are the ones I have heard through out the years).

- It is the Celtic New Year. It is just not reserved for the Celts. Celebrating the Dead exists in many cultures, such as the Egyptians, and the many Hispanic cultures.

- On the wheel of the year it sits exactly opposite Beltane (The day to honor life and the beginning of summer. It is also called Mayday).

- It is the most magical day of the year. This night is a night of power where the veil between our world and the Other world is at it's thinnest. It marks the beginning of a new year. Because it is said that this night exists outside of time, it is the best night to be able to peer into the future.

- Because it is a celebration of the Dead, this was the night that the Dead, if they wished, could return to the land of the living to celebrate with their family. Family's often set extra places at the table for their Dead family members.

- Within Christianity, seeing into the future was not possible and was even considered evil. This day was not used as a celebration of all dead, but only a celebration for the blessed dead. This is where the Hallow part of Halloween evolved. The "hallowed" (made holy) were celebrated. This is also the meaning behind All Saints Day or All Souls Day.

- The Jack-O-Lantern (carved pumpkin) was said to have been used as a lantern by people who traveled the roads at night. It is either a Scottish or Irish tradition. Scary faces were carved into these lanterns to scare off spirits and Faeries that may want to lead you awry. These lanterns were also placed in front of homes and in windows to cast a spell of protection over the home.

- Bobbing for apples could be a left over remnant of the old Pagan religion. The Pagan baptism (Seining) involved dunking one's head into a water-filled tub. The tub was to represent the Cauldron of Regeneration. Most of this however is very unclear.

- Trick-O-Treating is Celtic in origin. Back in the day, both children and adults participated in dressing up in costumes. And in Scotland, cross-dressing was what most people did. It was the one night a year that you could be the opposite gender. Another thing to note is that generally the "treat" was usually alcoholic in nature. Groups of costumed and cross-dressed individuals would go from house to house singing carols. In return they would be provided with "spirits". It looked much like Yuletide wassiling. Historically, roaming from house to house and singing carols use to be done on all holidays not just Yule (Christmas).

So, that is a little Halloween history - I am sure there is plenty more that I have not added.

What will my clan be doing for All Hallow's Eve? Well, first I am off on the Great Pumpkin search. I waited to long to get pumpkins and now, it seems, none can be had. If I find those pumpkins then I will be carving them for tonight. I am also going to finish decorating the outside of the house. Bash's school is having a Halloween Party - so I will be attending that event. For the evening, it will happen much like most years. Skylar is taking Bash Trick-O-Treating. I will make witch's brew (an old family tradition), pass out candy, watch scary things on TV, and check candy. Dante has to work - I told him I would save him some witches brew. All in all, it will be perfect. I can't think of a better way to spend the start of a new year - with all of my loved ones around.

Can We Help Little Claire?

2008-10-20T17:58:00.000-07:00

About a month ago I received an email regarding a little girl named Claire. Claire is approximately three years old and she is HIV+. Claire lives in Uganda and works 12 hours per day breaking rocks in a quarry for approximately five cents per day. The email stated that approximately 60-100 children were found in this quarry - homeless and starving. The sender of the letter had asked if I would be interested in adopting this three year old. They were having difficulty getting her placed because of her HIV status. They had also sent me a picture of sweet little Claire. I knew as soon as I opened the picture that I was suppose to help this child at the very least. My ultimate goal would be to adopt her into my family. Those of you who have been following my blog know that I have looked into adopting internationally for quite sometime. In fact, I was in the process of adopting from Ethiopia when I learned that my niece had been placed into foster care for the 2nd time. This puts everything on the international front on hold. My niece comes first. So, once again, I am prepping the house to re-license it as a foster home. I am very much looking forward to bringing baby V. to Vegas! But what about Claire? Well, I would like to bring her to Vegas as well. At the very least I want to help sponsor her. She needs to get started on ARV medication. Her immuno-compromised little body needs good nutrition, safe water, and a cozy bed to cuddle into at night. She needs to be able to run and play like a 3 yr old instead of slave away in the rock quarry. Please check out the paypal donation button to the right. Please find it in your heart to give anything. Every little bit helps! I have also left my email and would love to hear from each and everyone of you that would like to know more about Claire.

I know many of you think that the picture above is of Claire working in the quarry. I can not in good faith post pictures of Claire without permission. The picture above is of Stephen Batte. A Ugandan boy who was one of the 60-100 children living and working in the quarry. He has earned a little notoriety after he became the subject of an article regarding the children of Uganda working in the quarry. I have re posted the article here:

Ugandan children work on dangerous rock pile
Many risk their lives for a pittance in the quarry outside Kampala

updated 1:16 p.m. PT, Sun., June. 1, 2008

KAMPALA, Uganda - Stephen Batte works in a quarry under the blazing sun, chipping rocks into gravel with a homemade hammer. It's tiring, boring and dangerous.
Stephen is 9 years old. He's been on the rock pile since he was 4.
"Life has always been hard here," he whispers, carefully positioning a sharp rock before striking it with well-practiced accuracy. "But since my mother died, things have been much harder." His mother, the woman who taught him to smash rocks when he was a toddler, was killed here in a landslide in August.
His T-shirt torn and his feet bare, Stephen is one of hundreds of people who work in the quarry on the outskirts of Uganda's capital, Kampala. Their shabby figures sit hunched over their heaps of gravel. The chink of metal against stone bounces off the rock faces.
12-hour days to earn a pittance. Most of the workers are refugees who fled a civil war in northern Uganda. Now they make 100 Uganda shillings, 6 U.S. cents, for every 5-gallon bucket that they fill with chipped rocks. Stephen works 12 hours a day to fill three buckets.
There's no safety code or protective clothing. The children's arms and legs are covered in scabs from flying stones. Stephen says a friend lost an eye.
Rock falls are frequent. Stephen remembers the one that killed his mother.
"She had left the house early to work," he says through a translator. His voice falters. "We did not know that she was underneath the rocks — not until we saw her sandals.
He remembers her when she was showing him, as a toddler, how to crush stones.
"I sat next to her and she showed me how to hold the hammer. It's not easy and at first I would hit my fingers so I cried a lot. It made my mum very sad but she said we had to earn money to buy food."

Now he works alone at the quarry and spends his meager earnings on food. He sleeps in the crumbling mud hut he used to share with his parents and baby sister. He says his stepfather abandoned them after their mother's death. The sister, 8 months old, was put in an orphanage.
"If I stay in the house I feel lonely and I fear the memories," he explains. "So even though I'm tired when I leave the quarry, I go and play football with my friends."
No help for urban refugees. At the height of the 22-year conflict between the government and a brutal, shadowy rebel group called the Lord's Resistance Army, almost two million people fled. Most ended up in squalid government-controlled camps, but advocacy groups estimate that there are up to 600,000 in the cities.

A truce has enabled many of the camp-dwellers to go home, with food, tools and building materials provided by the government and aid groups. But the urban refugees don't qualify for help and have remained unregistered and invisible.

When Musa Ecweru, the minister of relief and disaster preparedness, visited the quarry, relief workers had to meet his car two miles from the site because his driver couldn't find it.
The normally talkative Ecweru seemed at a loss for words at what he saw, and unable to make firm commitments to help. He admitted that the government "may not have appreciated fully the magnitude" of the problem, and promised to bring it to the government's attention.

Then he gave a group of women and children with whom he spoke $30 and told them to divide it among themselves.
Two months after the minister's visit, Stephen's situation is unchanged.
"I wish I could be helped," he said, picking at a large scab on his knee, "but I cannot see another life for me."

Stephen now has a completely different life after being featured on the Internet. My hopes are that the same can be done for little Claire. I have posted below the follow up story regarding Stephen Batte.

WENATCHEE — When Jennifer Kesterson read about 9-year-old Stephen Batte chipping rocks into gravel beneath the blazing African sun for 18 cents a day, she was determined to help the boy.
"How can someone from a little town in Washington help a child in Uganda?" Kesterson, 63, of Wenatchee, asked herself. "But I thought, I have to try."Kesterson, a retired Cashmere Valley Bank employee, read the Associated Press article about Stephen that appeared in the June 1 edition of The Wenatchee World. Stephen had worked in a quarry chipping rocks since he was 4. His mother had been killed in a landslide in the same quarry, near Kampala, Uganda. Stephen told the reporter he worked about 12 hours a day to make 18 cents. "I just prayed to God, 'What can I do to help this child?' " Kesterson said. She said she had recently read a pamphlet about starving orphans in Africa that was distributed at her church. She started looking on the Internet for groups that have missionaries in Uganda and learned about Legacy World Missions, a nonprofit organization in Georgia that helps children in Uganda. That group had a link to Jesus and Me Children's Ministries in Kampala.

Kesterson said she quickly e-mailed Legacy World Missions and David Knowlton, founder and director of the Kampala organization. Angela Warner, executive director of Legacy World Missions, wrote that they had received a lot of interest in finding help for Stephen since the article had gone out on the wire service, but chances of finding him in a country where thousands of children suffer each day were slim.

Warner praised Knowlton and his work with children in the country and encouraged Kesterson to continue writing him for assistance. Knowlton wrote to Kesterson and said he would try to look for the boy himself. Knowlton is a native Ugandan, educated as an electrical engineer. He started Jesus and Me Children's Ministries in 1998 to help Uganda's orphaned and displaced children. The ministry was set up as an official nonprofit nongovernmental organization in 2003, according to its Web site.

Kesterson sent Knowlton a copy of the article and photo of Stephen that appeared in the paper. With the help of the Rev. Gary Warner, Angela Warner's father and founder of Legacy World Missions, Knowlton was able to find Stephen within three days. Knowlton got permission from Stephen's aunt and his tribe to become the boy's legal guardian.

Stephen is now living in Knowlton's home, where he has his own bed, school clothes and enjoys regular meals. He is being treated for malaria, which many children in Uganda have. And he's attending school for the first time. Knowlton has written about the rescue triggered by Kesterson's concern and financial help and posted it on his Web site. Legacy World Missions has also used the good deed as an example of what can be done.

Kesterson said she sent Knowlton $500 to help with Stephen's care and has offered to send $100 a month. She said her husband, Larry, a retired Chelan County PUD line foreman, are equally excited about the help they are able to offer.

Angela Warner said Monday that Stephen's rescue never would have happened without Kesterson's persistent drive to help. She said she has met Knowlton, knows his program well and would trust him with her own children. She said there are thousands of children like Stephen who need help, but help starts with helping one. "Someday, Stephen will hear the story of the woman who cared for him so much that she powered this through and wouldn't give up," Warner said. "You could see it in her e-mails that she was desperate to help. It was quite powerful."
steigmeyer@wenworld.com

MOM?!?!?! Who Me?

2008-10-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

Saturday night, Bash and I found ourselves at the Springs Preserve for Halloween Night with Bash's class from Mountain Heights Montessori. He was hanging out with his friends when a very cute little girl asked him, "What's your mom's name?" He paused for a split second and said "Timmie". I was floored! It was very sweet!

Happy Birthday Baby V

2008-10-03T06:42:00.000-07:00

I know I have not posted in quite a while. It has been one busy summer. I just want to post a quick Happy Birthday to my niece - V.

Today, you are 2 years old! I want you to have the very best birthday ever! My wish is that this will be the last birthday that you have to spend in foster care. Next year, you will be here in Las Vegas!!! I can hardly Wait. I love you!

Aunty T

He Loves Me? He Loves Me Not? - HE LOVES ME!!

2008-06-20T21:41:00.001-07:00

Tonight, I finally heard those words I have been waiting to hear for almost 2 years - "I Love You, Too" He has never let those words fall out of his mouth regarding me in my presence. He has told others (not many) that he loves me. Ahhhhhh.....it feels so good!!

She Did It!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

On 6/9/2008 Skylar was honored after 12 years (13 if you count Kindergarten) with an Advanced Diploma from Cimarron Memorial High School. She is now UNLV bound. So far her major is in Nursing. I am so proud of her! The graduation was awesome and the grad dinner was even better. We had reserved the patio at Marc's Italian Steakhouse (awesome food) and enjoyed excellent food, fine wine, and great conversation. I am so excited to watch Sky grow into a fabulous woman.

My Kids - Arent They Cute?

2008-06-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

I just love this picture of Dante and Skylar - it is one of my favorites!

All three of them together. What a great looking trio! How did I get so lucky?

XMAS 2007

2008-05-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

I thought I would post a few pics from Christmas:

Sky, Bash, Me, and Dante - Aren't they just the best looking kids?!?!?!?

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care.

The kids have hit the motherload!!

Waiting in line for Xmas dinner at the buffet - so totally Vegas!

Me and my baby boy - we have shared 20 Christmas's together!

Hello Again

2008-05-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

I have officially been yelled at for not posting often. So, here I am posting. I am going to try and be better. I actually like posting but I get hung up on adding pictures. I have been so bad at downloading pics from my camera - I just spent 2 hours downloading and trying to organize pics and I am still only half way done.

I am going to start posting pics here and there on my blog. They will start back from Christmas 2007. I think that is where I left off.

Other things going on:

- They started digging the pool yesterday. It is very stressful. They also hit Caliche in the process of the dig and are having to use special excavation equipment. I am worried that it is going to cost a fortune!!!! Can not wait until it is all done and paid for!!

- Bash's adoption has been finalized. I am no longer a foster parent!!!!! Yea!!!!! He has a forever home.

- Skylar turned 18 and just recently got her license! Still no car yet - We are working on that.

- Dante turned 21 - I can't believe my baby is 21!!! How weird! He is now enjoying being able to walk up to a bar and order a drink. He loves it when he gets carded.

- Bash turned 5 - we had a great time at Mini Grand Prix for his birthday.

- Sent in an app to AAI for adoption of 1 maybe 2 children from Ethiopia. We are really excited about this! Dante and Sky do not believe me when I start talking about it - boy, will they be surprised when they have a new little sister and possibly another little brother. I am planning on taking all of the kids to Ethiopia with me - it will be a great experience for them.

- Radar broke his toe and has been in a cast for 3 weeks - can't wait till it is healed.

- Skylar has a new boyfriend. Dante has a new girlfriend.

- I am repainting my house.

Hmmmmm....so far that is it.

Keep an eye out for all of the pics I have just added to my computer.

The Streets Of Las Vegas Will Never Be The Same

2008-05-09T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today, the City of Las Vegas issued a driver's License to Sky. She is so proud! I am so nervous!

Yes I Am Alive

2008-03-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

I know it has been months and months since I last posted. Things have been busy and one day seems to roll into the next. Pretty soon, I have so much to say that blogging almost seems overwhelming. So, let me just take it slow:

The Xmas holidays were a lot of fun. Bash got entirely too many things! I always seem to go just a tad over board. It was a good old fashion family get together. Gianni and her son, Jack spent the holidays with us. Dante and Sky actually seemed to get along this year - thank god!

Found out I had a slab leak on New Years Eve - happy new years to me!!!! Thank god my dad came down to help me fix it. Saved me thousands!!!

Spent New Year's Eve with Kara - my very bestest friend! It was fun - drinking wine, watching the ball drop in Time Square, and chatting the night away. I just love her - and am so lucky to have her in my life.

My 41st birthday came and went. I had a great time!!

All of Bash's paperwork for the adoption is completed - we are just awaiting finalization!!! Hope it happens soon.

We got a puppy - I know - I am crazy. But I just can not help it! He is so cute. His name is Zeppelin and he is about 13 weeks old. He is a black great Dane. I just love big dogs!!! He has fit himself in well.

Irie, my little pom had a run in with Willow my female Dane over a piece of pizza. Irie lost. She had surgery to fix the damage to the tune of 1500.00. She is the only dog out of the 4 that I can not get pet insurance on. Irie is doing well and we are very villigent around here to ensure that no pizza falls on the floor in the presence of the dogs.

Valentines day was fun! It was spent with Sky, Bash, Gianni, and Jack. We went to dinner and to a show. The show was a variety show and it was good - the kids enjoyed it.

Skylar is officially an adult! I can not believe that my baby is 18. Her dad and I bought her some driving lessons (actual behind the wheel lessons). She still has to ger her license - I wish she would practice a little more though. I did, however, miss her birthday. The 1st time in my life I have not celebrated my kids birthday with them. It was heartbreaking. I was in Kentucky for school. I sent her 18 long stem pink roses (they were beautiful) and Gianni took her and Bash to Sky's favorite restaurant, Roys, for me. We did get to celebrate on Monday. I got VIP tickets to Tony and Tina's Wedding. We dressed up like Mafia and rented a limo. The show was a blast. We danced and interacted with the cast - in fact a few of the other people in the audience thought we were part of the cast. It was great! Just like attending a big Italian wedding reception. The kids almost got kicked out for tasting some of the champagne at the table.

I met Dante's new love interest. She seems very sweet and he seems to like her a lot.

I went to Hyden, Kentucky for 5 days! You may be asking "Why Kentucky?" Well, that is where my school is located. It was a great experience - much different then I thought it would be. The history is amazing, the instructors were great, and I met some really great people - all with the same mindset as myself. It was very cool! So April 7th I officially start. It will take me 1 year to get through the Bridge portion (ADN-MSN bridge portion). I then have to go back to Hyden for 4 days for "Crossing The Bridge." Once I have crossed the bridge I will start the didactic portion of the midwifery program. I did find out that just one more clinical class will also get me my Women's Health Nurse Practitioner's license. So I will be doing that as well. I guess my name will have the following letters behind it: C.N.M.W.H.N.P. Much different then the R.N. I have now.

We are in the process of having a pool/spa installed in the backyard. Wow, is it a lot of money and it is very stressful and they haven't even dug the big hole in my backyard. I will be psyched to have it finished though!!!

Last week I got and email from Lighthouse Adoptions, that my application to adopt from Haiti has been approved!!!! I am so excited!!!

I know everyone is dying for pictures. I will get them loaded on here in the next week - so keep checking back.

It feels good to be back!!

LOSER - Capital L

2007-12-05T19:55:00.000-08:00

So, I could not do the 3 day fruit flush. I was miserable by the 2nd day. I had a terrible headache, low energy, and was the a total B@#ch. I had to end it! I did lose 3 pounds but I know it is all water weight. I am calling myself a Loser - what a wus I am.

I am just trying to eat good and I am going to start dragging my big fat behind out of bed earlier to walk the dogs. Walking Great Danes can be quite a work out. Kara also promised to go to yoga with me! Yea!!! I love yoga!!

3 Day Fruit Flush

2007-12-02T07:54:00.000-08:00

Mmmmm....doesn't that sound yummy? - not!

Today, I am starting a 3 day fruit flush. It is said that you can lose 9 lbs in 3 days. So I want to try it. It also is a good detox. Gianni and I went in together and bought Alli to try and aid or weight loss. The only problem is the so called "treatment effects". These are things like oily, uncontrollable stool - sounds scary doesn't it! So, we decided we would cleanse the fat out 1st to try and decrease the "treatment effects". I plan to keep things posted on my blog so that it, 1 - makes me a little accountable and, 2 - it keeps my faithful readers up to date on what is going on in my life. Here is the link to the 3 day fruit flush if anyone is interested. http://www.wbaltv.com/health/10281092/detail.html

Thanksgiving was really good. Bash and I went to my mother's in Palm Springs. They put on a really good show and after the show we had a big Thanksgiving dinner. It was really good. It was also really good to see my Mom and Buddy. I want to go back soon!

Update on Bash's adoption: I was interviewed on the 20th for the "Permanent Caregiver Conference" This is something that should have been done about 8 months ago but was somehow overlooked. The purpose of the conference is to determine if I am the appropriate person to permanently care for Bash. They loved me and the pics I sent of Bash and how well he is doing here. So, I passed with flying colors. Then a few days later I attended (via phone) Bash's hearing. The judge is very cool and everybody praised how much Bash has changed and what a great thing it was that I was opening my home up to him. His attorney even stated that they wish they had more relatives willing to step up and and care for more children. I just don't see how it could have worked out any other way. I do not understand families that will loose their children to the "system" when they have the means to help. Having Bash come in as a part of my immediate family was the only way it could have worked out. I have the means to take care of him and there is no way I could have lived with myself knowing that he was out there somewhere and still not connected to this family. It has been so great to have him here - I feel so honored to be able to watch him grow into the awesome man I know he will become. I told the judge all of this and asked the court to speed up the process. She would like to have the adoption completed by the end of the year. So, we will see how that goes - I will not hold my breath though.

My niece is still in the foster care system - that just kills me. I still have not heard a thing from child welfare. I did find the lawyers name and have made contact so that they know I am here and available. I wish I could arrange a visit, but that is hard to do when you can not even get a call back. I have heard from my Mom that my sister is doing good! Way To GO!!! I am hoping that the worst has been put behind us and that she will take some positive steps forward. Hopefully, she will be able to get my niece back soon! I am keeping my fingers crossed!

Update on my new job: It has been very good. I like all of the other Clinical Supervisors and my manager is super cool. We do think a lot alike. The hospital isn't set to open until late January. So, for now I am working M-F 8 hrs a day. We are developing Policies and Procedures, Educational material, and interviewing employees.

Update on Haitian Adoption: I think I am going back to VN for my 1st adoption. I would still love to do Haiti as well, but the amount of financial information you have to provide is a little scary and there have been issues with identity fraud as well. I am not making a move till after Xmas. By then I will know for sure.

Other Things: I got accepted to GRAD School!!!!! YEA!!!! I will start in March in class 60 at the Frontier School Of Midwifery. I am really excited! It will be good to get back in school!

The dogs are enjoying the new dog door. It has been so nice to be able to close that back door. There is less dirt in the house and my gas bill is much lower than last year.

The tiling is going good. I had to put a hold on the project to await more funds. Now that I have gotten my 1st paycheck I will be able to start again soon. What has been done looks really great. I have painted the three rooms downstairs:
Office - Spiced Pumpkin
TV Room - Red Stone
Living Area and 2nd floor hall - Flower Wood
All paint is BEHR - I love that paint.
I'll post pics when I get it all done

My New Job ANd Other Things

2007-11-18T06:15:00.000-08:00

Hi All!
I know everyone has been waiting on pins and needles waiting to hear how the new job is going. It is going great! We just found out that the opening of the hospital has been delayed another month. So, right now Iam working on getting the unit together. Going through policies and procedures, developing work schedules, and getting education files together - those types of things. My manager is great - we really click. The other Clinical Supervisors are good too. The other day Clinical Supervisor and myself are going to write a proposal for a S.A.N.E. program for our new hospital. Currently, there is only one place in town, UMC, where adult sexual assult victims go for thier exams. We would like to start a program at Centennial Hills Hospital - as well.

Last night I went to the March Of Dimes Nurse Of The Year Awards. I was a nominee but did not win. There were a few scattered people from my old job there. In fact, the person who took my badge, phone, and keys was there. No one spoke to me - thank god. I sat at Centennial Hills's table right next to the CEO. It was good to go and smooze the administrators from my new place of employment. It was a good night but I would have liked to been cozied down in my jammies with my big dogs.

I spoke with my mother the other day and learned that my sister is getting worse. It almost seems inevitable that I will get my niece. Although, I have not heard from anyone from Oregon DHS. I did find out who Vivian's attorney was and I am going to email him every couple of weeks for updates. I just wanted them to know that I was here and available for placement of Vivian if they are looking for something on a more permanent basis. The problem is is that I need to hold off on doing anything regarding international adoption. My house is small and I do not want to adopt another child and then my niece is available but I woulld be unable to take her because my house is not big enough. So, again on hold!

We had a very large dog door installed into the wall in the kitchen. It is 38" tall. WOW -big door but hopefully it will help the dust issue in the house. Before the door I had just been leaving the back sliding door open. The dogs are getting use to it. When I decide to sell the house I can have the door removes and the holes patched.

EXHAUSTED

2007-11-11T18:33:00.000-08:00

This weekend has been one of endless work. Yesterday, I worked on the floors. I didn't finish grouting until 9pm. Tiling is hard work. I hate lugging around the heavy tile. I did, however, get to spend the morning in the park with Bash. It has been a great weekend in Vegas - The weather is awesome!! It was 70 and sunny - great park weather. I brought Bash's bike - he can ride it so fast. Soon it will be time to trash the training wheels. I called him Super Fly as he zipped back and forth across the play yard.

Today, I did get to enjoy some time at the park. It was not as nice of a day but close. We did not stay as long. Why? Well, because I had to go do time at the Laundromat! I know I mentioned that my washer was dead. Apparently, it will not drain. It fills with water and then that is it - none of the other cycles work. I was unaware that there were clothes floating in the water for who knows how long. So, not only did I have to be tortured with the Laundromat I also had to fish out a small load of clothes that had been floating for days. YUK!!!! I did 7 loads of laundry in a very crowded Laundromat and spent 20.00. WOW, it is expensive! After the laundry nightmare I then went to Target and shopped. I am now sitting here dreading having to go out to the car to get the clean clothes and put them away - I hate doing laundry.

Halloween And Other Stuff

2007-11-10T19:01:00.000-08:00

I know it's been awhile but I have been busy busy busy! Since I have not had to work in 8 weeks I have become Mom Taxi and Master errand runner. I have also torn up the bamboo flooring in the family room, office, and weird living area and am replacing it with ceramic tile. It looks great but what a mess. I am so tired of tiling (yes, I do my own tile - even own my own wet saw!). I was hoping to have it all done before my new job started - not happening. On top of the tile I am also painting and adding tall baseboards. It's like a total re-do and a huge job! When it is done I will post pics. I have to have it all done before the last week of November. I have my quarterly home visit from the the social worker. I am sure if she just popped in now she would not be to happy with the way the house looks.

Halloween was tons of fun! I watched scary ghost stories all day, worked on the house, carved pumpkins, and decorated the front. Bash was a very cute Scooby Doo!!!! Skylar and her boyfriend, Eric, took Bash out trick-o-treating. Bash got tons of candy! We had quite a few trick-o-treater's - I love to watch scary movies and pass out candy on Halloween. Much more fun then costume parties. Dante also came by - he had to come for the Witch's Brew. Witch's Brew is a drink I have made every Halloween since the kids were babies. It is a tradition and it is a secret recipe. My daughter bugs me every year to give her the recipe - nope! No can do! Not until she is ready to carry on the tradition in her own home. I also serve donuts with the Witch's Brew. The donuts are to give the kids something to eat while I check candy. I always buy the same Hostess donuts - the ones with the plain, powdered, and chocolate donuts.

Bash-a-dooby-doo

Dante And Bash

Me and Dante - I was a witch. Like my hat?

Skylar And Eric

My Front Yard - ready to scare little children!

Other things going on:

- My washer is broken. So, I have put in a request for a new washer and dryer. I would like the red (yes, red!) front load kind. But for now - I am off to the Laundromat - I hate going to the Laundromat!

- I had to take my TB test for my new job 3 times. Mainly because I had a blond moment and left for Disneyland before I got the first one read. I then had to get the 2 step and ended up having an allergic reaction to the 3rd test.

- I had a complete melt down on the phone with the Oregon SW on Bash's adoption case. Apparently, somethings needed to be done last year that never got done and once they are done it might be another 6 months before things are final. Although, after my meltdown the SW pulled some strings and we think we might be able to get the whole process completed in 3 months. We shall see - I won't hold my breath!

- I did find out the name of the attorney representing my niece. Just so happens that he had no idea that I had my foster license and had told my niece's SW that I would be available if a permanent living situation was needed for my niece.

- I start my new job on Monday - a week of orientation - yuk!!!! But I am excited to get in there and start. I will be assisting in opening a new hospital. That means that I will have some input on how the unit will be set up and our standards. I like that a lot!!! I actually have enjoyed just being Mom at home. I have never had a chance to be a stay at home Mom - it has been very nice.

- Once I get my office put back together I will be starting the paperwork for my Haitian adoption - I am very excited about it! I also want to go and volunteer in a clinic in Haiti for a week. My friends, Gianni and Kara, are also interested. It would be fun if we could all go together.

That is about it - I guess. More later!!!!!

The Adoption Of SuperFish

2007-11-08T16:20:00.000-08:00

Today, Bash became the adoptive father of SuperFish. He had to go before the "Judge" to take an oath, sign and have all of the "official" papers stamped. There was then an adoption party that happened. It was all really quite exciting!

Some of you may be wondering why the big deal about getting a fish? Well, this was something that we (meaning myself, the play therapist, the day treatment coordinator, and the SW) came up with to help aid Bash and the other kids in his class understand the concept of adoption. SuperFish had come to his class needing a new home. SuperFish was a resident of his class for a few weeks, where the kids learned how to care for him and all about him searching for a new family. Bash had volunteered to be his dad and then after a week the adoption happened. It was really an awesome exercise. For all of you in the process of adoption or have recently adopted preschool to school age children - this might be something you want to try. It has really helped Bash understand the process.

Bash Taking Adoption Oath

Bash Reviewing The Official Adoption Paperwork

Bash Signing The Adoption Paperwork While SuperFish Looks On.

Disney Pics - Hope You Enjoy!

2007-10-27T16:05:00.000-07:00

Bash - Ready To Take On Disneyland

Disneyland - Halloween Style

Timmie, Bash, and Gianni at Cinderella's Castle

Bash's 1st Disneyland Ride

Loving The Merry-Go-Round

Taking Mr Toad's Car For A Wild Ride

Waiting For Minnie Mouse In Her House

Not Another Dumbo Ride !!

Our Mission: To Find Nemo On The Submarine Ride

Mission Accomplished - Nemo Found!

Bash and Goofy

Having Breakfast With Minnie And Friends

Bash Talking Politics With Cinderella's Fairy Godmother

Bash with Chip - Or Is It Dale?

Bash and Eeyore

Bash And Captain Hook

Bash + Disneyland = 1 excited boy

Defending The Planet And Helping Out Buzz Lightyear

Buzz Saying Thank You To Bash For All Of His Hard Work Defending The Planet From The Evil Aliens

Lightening McQueen, Bash, And Mater

"McQueen, I Got Your Windows Clean! Now Go Win The Race!!"

"Awww Minnie, Don't Cry I will Be Back Really Soon."

" Wow, 2 Days At Disneyland And I am Beat!"

A Trip Through The Wild Fires To Get Back Home

2007-10-25T14:51:00.000-07:00

Can you believe the wild fires in So.Cali? I pretty much grew up in So. Cali and have seen plenty of California fires, but nothing like this. I am sending as much positive energy I can muster to all of the people displaced from their homes. The smoke and flames did not stop our trek to the "Happiest Place On Earth". That is right - Bash had his 1st (of many, I am sure) trip to Disneyland. I haven't been there in probably about 10 years - it was fun. The air was hateful though - smoke everywhere and ash in the air. Even the risk of Black Lung could not keep us from the Wonderful World of Disney! Bash had an awesome time! He was not afraid of anything. We rode every ride he was tall enough for - more than once. I have 5 rolls of film being developed as we speak - so I will post all kinds of really cute pics soon. He was so excited - it was really great to be able to share it with him.

The 1st part of our trip was spent in the Bay Area. We drove up in our new truck (oh yeah - did I tell you I bought a new truck? 2004 Navigator. It is sweet!!!) We drove up to get Gianni and visit her daughter Sophia. It was fun! Bash is such a good traveler. On our way from S.F. to Disneyland we drove right through Santa Clarita - it was kind of scary with all the smoke and the flames on the hillside. We were suppose to end our trip with a quick visit to my Mom in Palm Springs, but with the fires and Willow possibly sick - we just high tailed it home.

On the adoption front: No news on my niece. I have not heard from anyone from family services regarding her status. My sister seems to cycle in and out of being able to function. My wish is that she gets well soon and she and my niece will be able to be together again. I wish I would get some news one way or another. Bash's adoption stuff should be done sometime in early December - If all goes well. I am not sure if I should keep my foster care license active. A little info would be great! So, I am continuing with my plans to adopt a sibling for Bash. I have just kind of put everything on hold. But I can not keep my life on hold forever with no news. I have also decided that I may change my country from Vietnam to Haiti. The need in Haiti is so great. It is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. There are hundreds of thousands of orphans. I have been doing research into Haiti and it is rich in history and culture. It is also completely devastated. There is no food or uncontaminated water. Children are dying by the thousands. There is actually a recipe for Dirt Cakes - because of the lack of flour or grain parents are mixing the little bit of oil and salt they may have with dirt in order to feed their children. I just have a hard time believing that this is occurring 600 miles from our Florida coast. So, I am back at square one with researching adoption agencies. Los Ninos does not have a Haitian program (this is too bad because I have really liked all of my dealings with them so far).

I have found a few places that have short 1 week volunteer opportunities. They are in desperate need for medical help. I may try and get myself, Gianni, and Kara to go and help out. A week will be easy to schedule. Most volunteer sponsors want you to commit to months or even a year. There is no way I can swing that with kids, dogs, and bills. I have started reading about Haitian history - it is amazing. It is tied in so tightly to our own US history.

Pics from Goldfield, NV. Haunted Pic Of The Goldfield Hotel

2007-10-11T19:51:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of one of the most haunted places in the country. That is me standing in front. But do you see a woman standing in the window? I believe we caught a picture of a ghost. Check out the 2nd floor mid right window. Could it be Elizabeth, the pregnant prostitute that George Winnfield (Owner of the hotel) chained to a radiator in rm 109 and left there to have her baby. Reports state that she either died in child birth or was murdered after the baby was born. The baby was reportedly thrown in the mine shaft in the basement of the hotel. She is said to haunt the hotel and particularly in room 109. Save the pic and enlarge it - let me know what you think.

Gianni in front of the Goldfield Hotel. It was a very eerie place and you definitely feel like you were being watched. It is very creepy.

More pics of the Goldfield Hotel

No that is not a ghost reflected in the hotel window - it is me. Kind of a cool pic.

Pics from Goldfield, Nv. The whole town pretty much looks like this. I think the population is around 500.

I can't believe they actually named a place "The Glory Hole" For those of you who do not know what a glory hole is - look it up if you dare.

Here is a pic of the high school in Goldfield, NV. It is under renovation.

Another pic of the high school

The grave yard in Goldfield, Nv. Very creepy

Doesn't it look like it belongs in an old west movie? I love this pic. It is a grave site in Goldfield, Nv.

A Very Happy Puppy - pics

2007-10-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

How Could You Not Love This Face?

My Big Baby, Radar, With A Great Big Smile

Radar Laughing Up A Storm

AWWWW Such A Sweet Baby

Pictures - Shiloh Horse Rescue - Sandy Valley, NV

2007-10-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

Cute Piggies greeting us upon our arrival

Gianni and her friend

Sklyar, Bash, Myself, And Natalie trying to figure out why "Taco" the mule is sticking his tongue out at us

Bash and Myself petting "Tannis" Jill Curtis's Horse

Bash and Mr Goat checking each other out

Skylar, Natalie, And I feeding carrots to a horse at Shiloh Horse Rescue

Bash and I at Shiloh Horse Rescue in Sandy Valley, NV. Notice Bash and the Mule have their tongue's sticking out.

Still Alive And Well

2007-10-11T15:15:00.001-07:00

I know, I know - I have not posted in quite sometime. It has just been a whirlwind of emotional/mental turmoil. I am finally through the darkness and will have some time to blog. I also have new pics to post - so this may be a long long post. OK, let me roll up my sleeves and start typing:
It is difficult to know where to begin. Work - I guess is where all of the darkness lays - so let's start there. My last post about work was related to the hateful meeting I had to endure between my boss, the manager, Kelley, and I. Well, let me just tell you that things have progressed so far downhill that I am no longer employed with that company any longer (thank god!). Cruella (the manager) and her evil male counterpart basically sold Kelley and I down the river. There was a lot of backstabbing. Lies were told and accusations made (not by Kel and I, I might add). When mistakes were made by the two of them - it was Kel and I that were blamed even though we had nothing to do with the situation. It had become a toxic work environment for both Kel and myself. For those of you who really know me, you know, that I am a pretty honest and direct person. I hate to play games! And there were a whole lot of games being played. Evil, dark games that would affect not just me or Kel but all of the department. So, on 10/5 at approximately 8:30 am Kel and I gave our resignations to Cruella's evil male counterpart and his boss. It was the longest "resign from a job" I have ever had to endure - 2 hours of hashing and rehashing issues. I then went over to my clinic and told as many people as I could find. I was actually on vacation that day and I knew that word would travel fast. It was very sad, some tears were shed. I will miss all of them very much. And I hope in the aftermath that when it is all said and done that everyone in my clinic will know how much they meant to me and how honored I am to have been a part of their lives. Anyway, I had a good weekend. I even went in to the office late Sunday night to get things ready for our quarterly audit which was to take place this week sometime. Monday I was off also - a well needed little break. On Tuesday, 10/9, I was in the office bright and early - ready to get things all tied up and completed so my departure would not seem as traumatic for my clinic as well as the department. I had received an email from our chief nursing officer stating that both Kel and I were to report to her office at 3pm for a meeting regarding our resignation (jeez, does everyone have this much trouble resigning from a job?). Kel and I both thought this was weird, but we continued to get our clinics organized for the audit. I was planning on coming back to the office after the 3pm meeting to finish audit stuff up, order iud's for my provider's, and fax postpartum depression forms to BHO. All very innocent. I should have known something was up when my g drive (our personal "do not delete" file) was found on the company's k drive (the all company access drive). This is disturbing because amongst the clinic related items in my g drive there were also things like my resume, my resignation letter, and all of my employee and provider information. Not sure who has access to read the K drive OB files but whoever it was would have been able to see lots of confidential information. So, at 3pm Kel and I headed into the CNO's office. We were greeted by the CNO and Cruella's best friend, the executive director of adult medicine. We were also asked to hand over all of our company property - keys, phones, badges. We were then escorted to our cars by security and told we could clean out our offices tomorrow under supervision. They were going to pay us out for 2 weeks and then that would be it. It was shocking and a little humiliating, but I laughed and joked through it. Kel, was not so happy. She got on the phone immediately with everyone and said she had just been fired. I kept telling her that we had not been fired we had quit and they had decided we did not need to finish out our time. I was kind of happy to be done from all of the drama. I was also upset about not being able to say goodbye to my staff and my providers in a more positive way. I guess the company thought we were going to sabotage everything - that is so not me. To sabotage anything would ultimately have hurt my clinic. That would be something I would never do. I did get a few calls from my providers - who were very angry at the actions the company had taken. I also got phone call from my staff who were worried about what would happen to them. But one of the calls I got was from the nurse recruiter from a hospital I had applied to - they offered me a clinical supervisor position for labor and delivery at quite a bit more money then I was currently making. How awesome is that?!?!?!? I was not without a job for long. I will start orientation on 11/12. So, now I am enjoying my time off. Next week I will be going to the beach for a week. All is well with me. I guess the fallout from all of this is still continuing. The evil male counterpart got demoted and even has to give up his office. Cruella thinks she has won but from what I hear from the chief and other providers is that they will not make it easy for Cruella. The department has now moved from under Specialties to Adult Medicine, again. I hear rumblings from other employees in the department that they are giving their notice. It will be interesting to see what else happens but I am happy to know that I am not part of the toxicity surrounding the company put forth by management. I am free!!!!!!!

I did go clean out my office the next morning. I had a chance to speak to some of the staff. But it was awkward. I was supervised while packing up. I had so much stuff - it took an hour. When it was all packed in my little Mini Cooper and I drove away it was like a weight had been lifted. I don't think I had realized how unhappy I had been for so long related to work and dealing with management - trying to be an advocate for my clinic and the patients.

I am still getting phone calls from people. Kel got roses from one of her clinics. Life goes on and I know where ever I go I will be just fine. I am a survivor - there is no keeping me down!

I'm "Just" A Nurse

2007-09-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

Bash woke up this morning with the whole right side of his face swollen. The lac on his forehead was swollen and red. Damn - I knew it did not look right. I asked several doctor's including his ped. All of them said it looked fine and it was healing. Damn - I knew it did not look right. But I am "just" a nurse. What do I know? I should have trusted myself. I have right on assessment skills. Better then quite a few of the docs I have worked with over the years. I should have just insisted that someone take me seriously. So, we were back at the urgent care again. They had to open the wound, drain the pus, and place a little bit of packing to keep the wound open. He is now on keflex. I feel really bad - I should have trusted me. Now, he is looking at a scar that may need plastics to fix. He has such a cute little face. It makes me very sad.

I Don't Feel Like I have A Choice

2007-09-19T19:48:00.000-07:00

I had a very disturbing meeting this afternoon. My boss, the new manager, the other supervisor, and myself - all sitting at a table. My boss and the new manager (I like to call her Cruella) on one side of the table - Kel and I on the other side of the table. The stand off begins. The meeting starts with the boss stating , "I feel like there is some tension between the management staff." Wow, you think? And it goes down hill from there. Cruella acting Innocent and unable to comprehend why there is tension. Cruella not taking any responsibility in the fact that the communication is broken and the team work is non-existent. The boss wants us to lay it all out on the table - and so we did. It was ugly, tears were shed, horns were locked. Halfway through the "meeting" we were told that we would now be reporting to Cruella. I just started laughing! Cruella asked, "Why are you laughing? Why do you think this is funny?" I said, "Actually, it is quite sad but I just don't know what else to do."

So, after the meeting Kel and I decided that we would both have to give our notice. This makes me sad and angry. As I have said before - I like my clinic, I love my employees, and my little office is very cozy. But I just don't feel like I have a choice. I spend to much time at work to have it be so negative. I don't trust Cruella - I feel like she has her own personal agenda. And if my boss was smart he would be very careful.

On a more positive note - I had a great interview yesterday. It was for the Clinical Supervisor for the L/D unit of a brand new hospital. The manager is a no nonsense, straight talking, tell it like it is L/D nurse. She gets down in the trenches when needed with her crew (I like that - that is how I operate also). I would be part of opening a brand new unit - and that is exciting. By the end of the interview she stated that she really liked me and she would love to have me as part of her team - I think I got the job. I have not heard from HR yet regarding an offer. I know it will be less then I am making now - but money isn't everything. It will also get me back in on the unit and in L/D which will help once I start school. Kel also interviewed for a position on the same unit - maybe we will be able to work there together.

So when will we deliver the news? Next week - I think. I want to wait and hear from HR 1st. I will give plenty of notice. Try and get my clinic ready for my departure. I sure am going to miss everyone. ) :

Yes, I Am Still Alive and Well

2007-09-12T18:57:00.000-07:00

I know - all of my faithful readers have been wondering here I have been. I have been here trudging along day by day. I think I last left you with Bash's home study being completed. Not much has happened since then. Let's see -

- Still waiting for whatever the next stage is related to Bash's adoption. I do not have any new pictures of Bash - I am working on picking out a new digital camera. So new pictures should be happening soon.

- I have done nothing in regards to the VN adoption. I still want to continue but I have been dragging my feet waiting to see what might happen with my niece. I think I will go ahead and send in the rest of the application. It may be another year before I find out about my niece.

- I am actively seeking a new job. I am having a really difficult time dealing with my boss and the manager that he has hired. How do you hire someone who has not been in a clinical situation in 12 yrs to run a clinic? It is just not good and I am miserable. My biggest reason for staying is my employees and my clinic. I like everyone there and all of my Providers. I am a passionate person with regards to my career and I just don't feel that same passion or even a small splinter of that passion from the others that are in the position to make very important decisions for my department. So, I started filling out apps and sending out my resume. I got a very nice offer from someone very close that I could go down to part time in preparation for school starting and I would not have to worry about bills. Hmmm... could I go back to punching a clock and laboring patients again? I do miss it and 2 days a week would be so very nice. On another note, I have applied for a manager's position at a very busy hospital for a very busy L/D unit. So, that is another possibility - What will I do? Who knows - it is all still up in the air.

- I will be leaving for the Bay area at the end of the month. I can not wait - an adult weekend for me !!! Yea!!!

- We will be going to Disneyland the 2nd weekend in October! Yea!!! It will be so fun. I have not been in about 12 yrs. Can't wait.

- I did get to take a very fun little road trip this weekend to Goldfield, Nevada. I know, most people are probably wondering "Why Goldfield?" Well, a very scary hotel is in Goldfield. It has been featured on several ghost hunting shows. We went to go peer in the windows - creepy. The little town has about 400 people and tons of ruins from the gold rush days. Very cool little place. The graveyard was also cool. I will have some pics from there up soon. The next day we went up to Mt Charleston to have lunch. It was a very nice drive. All in all it was a good relaxing weekend!
More Later
T

Bash's Home Study Completed

2007-08-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I endured the torture of Bash's adoption home study - YEA, IT's OVER!!!! The house looked good. I had sent the big dogs off to the Pet Hotel for the night so that we could get the house clean. Although,I did miss them terribly. Of course during the home study visit Bash chimed in with a very important question, "How come our kitchen looks so clean?" I almost died! Out of the mouths of babes. Hopefully, it will all be done soon. The Oregon social worker told me his next court date is 11/22, but they can request a sooner hearing if needed. Although, if I do end up with my niece I would love to time it just right so that Bash's adoption is finalized at the time that my niece is coming down. That way I can take off 12 weeks FMLA for the adoption and use that time to bond with my niece and work on integrating her into my family. Doesn't that sound nice?

As for the VN adoption - I am just not sure what to do. My niece coming down to Vegas is looking more and more likely. Tomorrow, I am going to call the social worker at LNI and explain to him what is happening and ask for advice. I do think I want to proceed even in the event of getting my niece. But how long will they hold my app? This is one of many questions I have regarding the situation.

Other things going on:

Bash received a new bike and has been having fun riding it - I will get new pictures this weekend.

The garage door totally broke and will need to be replaced.

The construction continues on in the office - I can not wait until it is over!

I have discovered that I have a slow, burning hatred for my Home Owner's Association.

More later - hopefully pictures.

I Know I Know - Long Time No Post

2007-08-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

I know it has been awhile but I have been very very busy and maybe a bit down. So let me explain:

Since I last posted I have had my phone interview for Midwifery school. It went very well, but I was a little sad that I couldn't talk my way into a sooner class starting. I did try - but it looks like March of 08. I will know if I am accepted around the 1st of December. It went very well - I have no doubt that I will be accepted.

My sister has continued to act erratic. She did check herself into the hospital to get some help, finally. But the behavior hasn't really changed. It really frustrates me that she went into get help and she was discharged with a script for some new meds that cost 400.00/month. How the hell is she going to pay for that? So, really she might as well have been discharged with nothing because she won't be able to afford to buy the meds to get her better. For me, this means I am probably going to eventually get my niece. Sept. 7th is the next court date. If she doesn't show up the social worker told me that my niece will become a ward of the state. OMG - Here we go again!!!! It looks like I won't be surrendering my foster care license anytime soon.

This weekend I put in bamboo floors, painted my room an "Adobe Straw" color, and also got my new bed in place. Here is the link to what the bed looks like:
http://www.teak-collection.com/pages/reclaimed_teak_product-detail.asp?SP_ID=&SKU=BD701
The bed is awesome! It was shipped from Bali - it is made from 50-200 year old reconditioned teak. I guess from old houses in Bali. It is really awesome and I love that no trees had to be used in order for me to enjoy this awesome bed. I am going to order the matching end tables and a shelf as well.

This Tuesday is my home study home visit for Bash - can't wait to get that all wrapped up!

Alright folks - I have to haul a&* to get ready for work - 8 am meeting - yuk!!!
Write more later!

Exhausting Day

2007-08-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

Laying here on my bed, surrounded by big dogs, and thinking about the day. It was exhausting with not so many little bright spots. Here is how the day went:

1. Woke up late and missed yoga

2. Bash very grouchy and difficult to deal with

3. Phone call from office that the office was a mess, computers not hooked up (and no one able to figure out how to hook them up), construction clean up not done as scheduled.

4. Felt like a babysitter regarding staff issues - why does it feel like kindergarten at work? Are we all not professional adults?

5. Unable to get any of the tons of paperwork off my desk due to multiple interruptions and re-modeling scheduling issues.

6. Cleaned out car

7. Picked up large dog poop

8. Ants in dog food

9. Fixed kids toilet

10. Kitchen still a mess

Here are the few bright spots:

1. Lost 3.5 lbs

2. Spent some time doing a little patient education

3. Went shopping and bought a few new things

4. Having dinner and chatting with Bash

5. Speaking with Dante on the phone and listening to how excited he is about registering for school

6. Lying on my bed with my dogs, house is quiet, and watching Big Love.

On The Other Side Of The Fence

2007-08-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

How many frantic, frustrated family members have I said, "I'm sorry - we are not going to be able to hold (insert name)because he/she does not impose a threat to others or to themselves." The family members go on to say something like, "Well, what are we going to do? (insert name) needs help! We need help!" My answer,"Doctor (insert name) has prescribed (insert med) and here is the number to set up an outpatient appointment. Please feel free to come back in if you feel that things are getting worse and (insert name) is threatening themselves or someone else.

That conversation has been repeated so many times by myself and others in my profession. And now I find myself as one of those frantic and frustrated family members. What is the next step? Doing nothing does not seem right. Do we fly up and bang on her door until she answers or the cops come and tell us to move along? How will she be able to make the appropriate decisions enough to save herself and her family?

Did Ya Notice?

2007-08-06T22:20:00.000-07:00

For those of you who scour over my blog religiously, you probably noticed a couple of new Tickers (I really think I might have a Ticker addiction). The 1st one, you may have noticed is a ticker related to how much money I have invested/saved towards the VN adoption. The final amount needed is actually a little higher than I am expecting to spend, but it does include travel. AND NOW FOR THE PLUG: Anyone who would like to help me bring home sweet little baby Jane - There is a spot to apply for credit cards, order magazines, or make a paypal donation - Just thought I would point it out.

The 2nd Ticker is, you guessed it, weight loss. I stepped on the scale this weekend and thought I was having a heart attack. I have decided that I can not go on any longer with my current lifestyle. Actually, my main goal is not really weight loss but just to be healthy. I am tired of walking up a couple flights of stairs and being winded, feeling like my world is too stressed, and I am tired of being tired. So, I have embarked on a healthier lifestyle with the weight loss being one of the positive outcomes. I know I know - those who know and love me will say, "another diet?" My answer, No - not another diet. I am choosing to change my bad habits to more positive ones.

I know everyone is saying, "but Timmie, how are you possibly going to change those bad habits?" Well, there are a few things I have vowed to do and I have enlisted my friend Gianni to also change her negative habits. Here is how I am starting:

1. Consume more protein and less starch "bad carbs"

2. Eat more veggies

3. Try not to take work so seriously (leaving the office at the office)

4. Get back into Yoga (I love yoga and the show "Breathe" on the oxygen channel is awesome)

5. Walk my dogs (really good workout walking 2 Great Danes)

6. Drink more water

I have also re-organized my entire kitchen. I cleaned out all of the cupboards and got rid of any "bad" food. Bought new dishes, silverware, and pots and pans (red).

I think the other thing that is helping me set some definite goals related to my lifestyle change is my frame of mind regarding my work. I am actually relieved that I did not get the promotion I had applied for. Sure the extra money would have been nice, but it is not the right path for me. It really gave me some time to be really honest with myself regarding what it is that makes me happy as it relates to my career. Moving up the management ladder would lead to more money and the titles are enticing, but moving up that ladder almost feels like a betrayal to my profession. I am a very honest (sometimes brutally), straight forward, and compassionate kind of person - but what I have seen in Nursing Management is far from truthful and straight forward, or compassionate. That is just not me. Applying to midwifery school solidified it for me - that is where I need to be! It feels right.

One more thing before I sign out for the night - Thank You to all of you who have left comments. I really enjoy reading them.

Nancy Grace

2007-08-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

I just love Nancy Grace - don't you? She is so drama! I just get a kick out of her. I started watching her during the Scott Peterson trial. Tonight she is talking about a women who left her 2 small children in her car while she worked because she could not find a sitter. The children died from heat exhaustion. What a horrible death for such sweet babies. After 8 hours into her shift she states she has to leave work because she is having babysitter problems. She finds her children dead - she takes them home bathes them, redresses them, places them in trash bags, and puts them under the sink with the trash. I just can not believe it! She has a history of mental illness and had her children removed by family services more than once. The system has failed these children. I just don't get it - hard to comprehend. I have been a working single parent for a really long time and never once would I have ever considered leaving my children in the car while I worked - sitter problems or not. There are so many babies out there that need good homes but the government makes it so difficult on the adopting/fostering parents willing to take in these kids. I know because I am personally living it - I know they have to make you run the gauntlet to make sure you are fit enough to raise children. But it is just so frustrating to have to listen to these stories.

Just More Of The Same

2007-08-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

Not so much has been going on around here. My sinusitis, I think, is finally over. Today I went the whole day without a sinus headache - Yeah!!!!!

The weather has been weird here but I love it! Thunderstorms in the desert are awesome. Today the sky opened up and poured for just a short time. I was walking from my office to my car and got totally drenched!!

I spoke with my mom this afternoon - No new news on my sister. I did speak with the case worker on Monday - she said that the baby is doing great! That is nice to hear. I did tell her that I really wanted to come get her but she said it was not possible. I know the drill - I have been through it with Bash. I did have her make a note in the file that if for some really bad reason they would have to find permanent placement - I would fill out all the paperwork for another ICPC transfer. She seemed happy to hear about that. I know that if that is the route it goes it will be a couple of years before it progresses that far. It took me 8 mos to get Bash here and that was after they decided that he would not be able to go back with his mother.

We had play therapy today - it was very productive. We played with a playhouse and a bunch of little people who all look very different from one another. The therapist and myself expressed to Bash through the dolls that family's can be very different and that people in a family can look very different from each other. We even got to start to talk about adoption a little bit - it was very good.

On the VN adoption front - well I have not filled out the rest of the app that my agency sent. I guess I have been a little shocked about the events that have unfolded with my sister. But I have decided to go ahead and fill it out and send it in - I am going to go ahead and move forward and if my niece ends up here - what can I say? "The more the merrier"

I did hear that the bed I ordered should be set to clear customs next week. That was exciting but I didn't even think it had been shipped yet. For those of you wondering - I bought a teak platform bed from Bali. It is made from reconditioned teak from houses that are approximately 50-200yrs old. It is just a simple platform bed but it was exactly what I was looking for and I love the fact that it is made from reconditioned wood - no killing trees for me!

OK, I just have one more thing to say - Holly Hunter. Lol - is everyone saying "what?" Well in another blog I follow it said to put Holly Hunter somewhere in your blog and it will increase hits to your blog. Let's see if it works!

Does The Sky Really Open Up And Rain Babies?

2007-07-28T07:19:00.000-07:00

It seems that every time I start down the adoption path I end up with a child. About 2 yrs ago I had really started investigating adopting a baby from China. While I was in the process of researching agencies I received a call regarding my nephew. It seemed that my sister was not going to be able to parent him. So, I put aside the agency research and started filling out all the paperwork needed to become a licensed foster home. Bash arrived almost a year ago. By the time we were settled into a routine I again started to toy with the idea of adopting a baby girl from China. But the Chinese Government was soon to change it's laws restricting single parents from adopting from their country. I looked into other countries and found Viet Nam. As everyone already knows I am at the very beginning stages of the paper chase/home study portion of that adoption. I received a call from my mother that my other sister is sick and is not able, at this time, to care for her 8 month old daughter. It is very possible that my niece will come and spend time with her Aunt in Las Vegas. It will be interesting to see how it all works out. My biggest issue is child care, but I have spoken with the director at my child care center and she has space. Now I will wait and see. I am going to continue with the VN adoption. It just seems funny that everytime I start down the international adoption path I end up with a child.

Just Sitting In The Mailbox

2007-07-23T22:16:00.000-07:00

Those who know and love me know that I rarely check the mailbox. In fact it has become kind of a running joke with my mailman! I do really try to check it at least once a week but sometimes it eeks out to once every couple of weeks. So, I decided to check the mailbox tonight. Can't really remember the last time I checked that little box. Sitting in the mailbox is a packet from my agency stating that my preliminary application has been accepted. I can now fill out the real application and send in an even bigger check so that we can get this VN adoption thing moving. According to my timer it has been 11 days since I mailed the preliminary application in to the agency.

Sinusitis / Bronchitis

2007-07-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

That is what was written on my paperwork when I left the Urgent Care this evening. At least it wasn't pneumonia. I have had that already and do not want it again. Who can I thank for the crappy lungs - Grandpa Henderson. He passed away from emphysema when I was in high school (I sure do miss him). I have absolutely no memory of him without Oxygen on or bent over huffing and puffing just from walking out to get the mail. But he and I shared lots of time together when I was little - we watched soap operas, I helped him in his wood shop, he always fixed me grilled cheese and soup for lunch. I loved him dearly and I just cannot believe he has been gone for so long. So here is to you, Grandpa - I raise my cough syrup and take a hit off my inhaler in memory of you. Love You!

Toys, Dogs, and Home Visits

2007-07-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

Gianni and her son Jack came down from the Bay Area for a few days. It was a lot of fun. We always have tons of fun when she comes down. I took her, Jack, and Bash to Ceaser's Palace and the Forum Shops. They loved it - it is a really cool place. I tend to take all of the Vegas sites for granted. The best part of the whole trip was our time spent in FAO Schwartz. For those of you who don't know FAO Schwartz - it is a huge 3 story toy store. Gianni and I picked out things for our Xmas list for the kids and even our dads. Bash and Jack had a great time. The 3rd floor has arcade games, air hockey, and basketball. Jack practiced the wave board, I kicked Gianni's a#@ in air hockey, and Bash played a snowmobile arcade game. It was a lot of fun.

Bash doing very well at his arcade game

Me wiping the floor with Gianni at Air Hockey

We then went downstairs to the 1st floor to the Soda Fountain. There we made our selves sick with ice cream, root beer floats, and milkshakes.

Me enjoying the biggest shake I have ever seen.

Bash Helping me with the monster shake

Bash enjoying his chocolate ice cream - all over his face.

On Monday I received a call from every social worker known to man. I spoke with Bash's social worker in Oregon, his social worker in Vegas, and the adoption social worker. It was really weird and a little freaky. The social worker in Vegas wanted to schedule a home visit for Wednesday - ugh!!! I hate home visits - it is always very stressful! Gianni was a huge help - getting the house ready. I will be so happy to have this adoption completed and done. Then the stress will be much less. The home study went well. The house looked good. We decided to leave two of the dogs at home and take the other one out while the home visit was being conducted.

The dogs are a real source of stress for me in regards to the home visits. The are like my babies and I always worry that at some point in this process the social worker will make me get rid of the dogs. The reason for these fears - my male dog weighs 144lbs and my female great dane weighs 104 lbs. They are good dogs and very sweet but they are big and a lot of people are not comfortable with dogs that are so large.

Picture of Radar and I - look how big his head is.

Bash and Willow

So the plan was to take Willow to PetSmart and to keep Radar at home. Radar is deaf and usually will lay on the couch like a big couch potato and behave himself. Well that did not happen - he was very bad. Barking and not listening. The social worker was freaked out by his size. The only thing she wrote down for the whole visit was "Big Dog". So now I am worried!! Next time they are all going to Doggie Daycare!

On the VN adoption front - no news from LNI. They have not cashed my check yet. It's been almost 7 days!

BTW, in case anyone is wondering I am feeling much better since my last blog. Migraine is gone, I am in a very peaceful place regarding the promotion, I have decided that my sister has to deal with her own stuff and it is not my drama, and I sent in my application for midwifery school. All is good!!

All Kinds Of Stuff - Some Good, Some Bad

2007-07-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today I have called in sick to work. A terrible migraine has hit. I think it is stress related. I have only had one other migraine and this feels much like that one did. Here is a list of the things that happened to me yesterday:

1. Found out that the promotion I had applied for did not go to me.
2. Confirmed that my boss may not be as honest and forth right as I would like him to be.
3. Still Remained #18 on GOL's "waiting to register list" after 10 days.
4. Learned that Bash may graduate out of the Day Treatment Center's program
5. Sent application to Los Ninos
6. Got really hateful, hurtful, nasty message from my sister.
7. Decidied I was applying for Nurse Midwife school.

Just a stressful day all the way around!

Long Day

2007-07-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

Today has just been one of those days. It started with waking up late and rushing Bash to school. Then every single odd/difficult person came into be seen or have some crisis solved. My life is full of other people's crisis's. I guess that is just part of being a Nurse - problem solver to the world.

I went and had Bash's physical done for the adoption. He had to get 5 - yes 5 - injections. Poor kid! He did good - but I hated to have to be there. We took a trip to Mickey D's for food and playtime after the vaccine torture. Then we had to have ice cream and rent a movie. He seems to be surviving. I have doped him up with Tylenol and Motrin to help with any vaccine reaction and his poor soar thighs.

On the VN adoption front - I have decided to send in an initial application into Los Ninos International (LNI). After looking at more information and calling my agency I have realized that they have only had 4 referrals since last year. I am number 18 on the list waiting to register. The list to register also doesn't seem to be moving to fast - it has been a week and no movement. Beyond that I do really like GOL but I would like to feel like I am making progress. I spoke with Jean Erichsen today from LNI and I was very impressed with our conversation. I really liked what she had to say. So, LNI may be the winner for my adoption - only time will tell.

And for all of you out there who may have been worried - I did make it to the store last night! The long distance family crisis seems to be moving in the right direction but far from over. At least I will be able to sleep tonight.

Skylar and Bash

Dante as Elvis

Absolutely Exhausted

2007-07-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

I wanted to sit and write an informative blog about why I had chosen Jane Grace as the name for my VN daughter. I have been thinking about it for days - what I wanted to write and which pictures I would post. But last night I found myself embroiled in a long distance family crisis that is still continuing as I write. It has left me drained and exhausted. I just don't have it in me right now. I had also wanted to get some house work done. The floors are a mess and the laundry is piling up. But I just don't have it in me. I also need to go to the grocery store, but the thought of having to go out in this ungodly heat is enough to make me want to just pull the covers over my head and hide. So here I lay in an empty house with 250lbs of dog on my bed in my Jammie's without my hair brushed watching LMN psycho female movies. Maybe when the sun goes down I will be able to head to the store - then again - maybe not!

One last thing - to my sis - We love you! You are not alone! Please let us help you!

Finally!!

2007-07-06T17:37:00.000-07:00

I finally completed the 2 million pieces of paper required by the Department of Family Services for a home study. I turned in Bash's home study today!!! Yea!!!! Monday he has his physical and then my part of the paperwork is over.

On the VN adoption front - Still #18 on the list waiting to register. I now check my voicemail religously waiting for a call from the agency saying that I have moved up. I am thinking of adding a count down to this blog counting down how long it takes to move through th VN process.

Beyond the adoption issues - everything here is the same. I have been fighting a sinus headache for the last week - and it is so so hot here. I hate July in Las Vegas. It amazes me all of the tourists that come here in the middle of summer and walk up and down the Strip. The best time to be here is Spring or Fall - Just in case any one was wondering.

Taking It One Step At A Time

2007-07-03T19:02:00.001-07:00

Today, I got my finger prints done for Bash's adoption. I will have the the home study paperwork turned in on Thursday.

I spoke with Alison at GOL today. Just confirmed the #18 placement on the initial waiting list. She stated that they will call each time I move up the list. I like the communication so far. Once I hit the number one position then they will send me the registration packet and I will be able to start the paperwork. I did ask about what she thought the wait to actually have my daughter home would be - she said it varies could be a year even longer. I know they can't give exact time frames. I like that they are not promising anything. So many agencies will tell you 4-8 mos, etc. I am not into having smoke blown up my skirt - so to speak. So far, I am very happy with my choice. A year or more is good for me - it gives me plenty of time to get Sebastian's adoption finished.

It's Official

2007-07-02T23:14:00.000-07:00

I received a voice mail today from my agency stating that the director has approved my initial application to adopt from VN. I am number 18 on the list waiting to register. Wow - things are happening! That is good.

In my other adoption story - I have almost all of the homestudy paperwork together for Sebastian's adoption. I am going tomorrow to get my finger prints done for DFS. I am hoping to have his adoption done in a a few months. The person that licenses the homes for Foster Care told me that they were suppose to have the adoption completed in 120 days from the time they recieve all of the paperwork. It would be great to have it all wrapped up before the holidays!

Filling In The Blanks

2007-07-01T11:18:00.000-07:00

I know, there is not really that much written in my profile. So I thought I would fill in

some blanks. First off, I am 40 and a mother of 2 bio children. My son Dante - is 20 (not living

at home) and my daughter Skylar is 17 (is living at home). I will fill in more about those two as time goes on. I am currently a foster mom to my 4 yr old nephew, Sebastian (Bash). I am in the middle of completing his home study so that he can forever have a stable home with us. Bash has been with me for about a year now - it has been really good for both of us, but has had it's trying times as well. I will be so happy to get his adoption finished. I feel like it is really just a formality at this point. I also have 3 dogs Radar (140lb deaf Great Dane), Willow (104lb Great Dane), and Irie (10 lb Pomeranian). They are my babies as well.

Christmas 2006

From left to right: Bash, Willow, Skylar, Radar, Dante, Timmie, Irie

I am sure that everyone is wondering why I have decided to add one more to my "Chaos and Insanity". There are actually a few reasons. I had actually been looking at adopting a baby girl from China before I got news that my sister had lost custody of my nephew. I decided I needed to put the China plans on the back the back burner to get Bash settled. Now that he has settled in it is time to re-visit international adoption. China has closed it's doors to singles. This led me to have to consider other options. I knew I did not want to pursue adoption in the US. I am currently in the middle of trying to get this done and it is really just too much. I really did not want to look at Eastern European adoption for quite a few reasons. I may re-visit those reasons a little bit later. I really wanted to continue to look at Asian programs. I stumbled on to VN and have not looked back. Even with the increasing wait times for a baby girl - I am still more than willing to trudge through the long wait and the mountains of paperwork. The country and its people are so beautiful. It is amazing that a country so ravaged by war can be so beautiful and seem so peaceful. I can not wait to go! I want to take it all in - the people, their culture, and their country. I plan on bringing the whole family with me so that we can all experience the beautiful country where our special little Jane Grace was created.

I hope this has helped fill in a few of the blanks. I will add more as time goes on. I will also add more pictures of everyone.

Better Today - Just Tired

2007-06-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

OK, so it is probably PMS that is making me feel so yucky!

I have picked an Agency - Gift Of Love. I received a phone call today from the agency stating that everything looked good. My initial application just needs to be approved by the Director and then I can be added to the "Awaiting Registration" list. It all seems very funny that I have to wait to wait to register. Oh well, it is what it is. In the message they had stated that it is the agency's rules that they require 1 year between adoptions. I am in the process of completing my home study to adopt my nephew Sebastian (Bash). The agency didn't seem to think it would be a problem because the waiting time for a VN baby girl seems to be about a year. I am going to call the agency in the morning and in the midst of that conversation I will make sure that they understand that Bash has already been with me a year. Maybe that will make them feel better regarding his pending adoption.

You must be wondering how did I finally decide on an agency? Well, it was very difficult to get it narrowed down to the three. I found a yahoo group (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Adoption_Agency_Research/) that has compiled a list of ethical agencies working in VN based on a wide range of criteria. The three I had chosen were on that list. How did I finally decide on Gift Of Love (GOL)? Well, each of the three agencies work out of different provinces. Los Ninos works out of An Giang (south VN), HIC works out of Quang Nam (Central VN), and GOL works out of Hoa Binh (Northern VN). I researched the different province's and decided I like Hoa Binh the best (Hoa Binh means peace - I really like that) - so basically that is it. I have so far only heard good things about all three and all three do humanitarian work in country - which I also really like. GOL also has an interesting payment plan. There is no registration fee and you pay 500.00 a month with payment coupons. Just seems much easier to handle this way then these huge lump sums of money all at once. I also like that they are heavy into education and that they also will send certificates for the Life Book with every milestone. Right now I am feeling pretty good about my decision.

A Bit Low Today

2007-06-27T20:22:00.000-07:00

Not sure if it is PMS or just overload. Maybe a little of both. It was a very bad day at work today. Lots of stress and not feeling like I am being very effective. What is my purpose? Am I making a difference? Is this where I want to be? Does my boss think I am being effective? Will I get the Manager's position? Do I really want it? You see it is hard for nurse's not to feel like they are making some kind of a difference. At least for this nurse. So all of this is rolling over and over in my head. Not feeling like I want to do much of anything but watch movies and cuddle with my dogs. But my list of things to accomplish grows and grows:
1. Finish Bash's home study
2. Get taxes done (yes, I know they were due April 14th)
3. Mail letter with some pics of Bash to Cyd
4. Send off for Transcripts so that I may enroll in RN to MSN program
5. Clean house (always)
6. Laundry (always)
7. Pick agency for Jane Grace
8. Install drip system to backyard trees
9. Finish room
10. Carpet Hallway and stairs

This is just a few things on the ever growing list

On a positive note - I did narrow the agency choices last night:
Hawwii International Child (HIC); Los Ninos; Gift Of Love
All three are on the ethical agency list for Viet Nam from one of the adoption yahoo group that I frequent.

I did fax the initial application to Gift Of Love (it is the application to be placed on their waiting list to wait to register. It is free and so why not. Is this the agency we will use - who knows. But it was a step in a forward direction).